I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
