Well douche your snatch and let's go!
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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