I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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