Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
