he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
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I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
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You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
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