I'm eating all of the evidence.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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