is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
