i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
