I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
