Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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