friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
