I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
