He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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