And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
