if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
