you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
