member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
