I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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