therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
