He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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