Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
