My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
