You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
