She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
