I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
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