The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I am full of burrito and curiosity
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
