Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
