Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
