Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
