Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
