i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
