So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
