So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm passing your future prison.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Randomize
