lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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