We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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