how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
