I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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