I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
