Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
