So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize
