White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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