I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
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