You're completely useless in the revolution.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
All the doctor said was why
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
