you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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