You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
