ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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