I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
