She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I can't put those talents on a resume
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
