U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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