White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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