I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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