Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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