I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
