I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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