My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
me + whiskey = a bad person
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
