In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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