90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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